Acute Neuro-flatulary Dissemblemania – obsessive and uncontrollable lying, accompanied by a delusional belief that lies are the same as truth as long as the lies are consistent, incessant, and delivered on national television; most noteworthy sufferer:
Dispeptic Hypofactual Blovioma – a condition in which the volume of speech increases in direct inverse proportion to its factual content, moth noteworthy sufferer:
Chronic Reflexive Blameopathy (also known as Rozencrantz-Guildenstern Syndrome) – a compulsive need to shift blame and shoot the messenger, particularly news media, to avoid accountability for one’s actions (and inactions); most noteworthy sufferer:
Paroxismic Hyperbellicosis (aka the red-faced shrieking disease) – a seizure disorder in which the body, possessed by uncontrollable anger, shudders and rages uncontrollably; the rapid rise in blood pressure pushes all the blood in the body into the facial capillaries; a corresponding drop in blood pressure within the liver causes a volcanic release of bile simultaneously from the mouth and anus; most noteworthy sufferer:
Multi-positional Panderemic Briberalgia – the uncontrollable need to take any (and every) position on any (and every) issue; also includes taking opposite positions at will with no apparent rationale except for obvious pandering to influential parties in a political discussion and/or savings one’s own political skin; most noteworthy sufferers:
Recurrent Mytocistic Folliculitis – a severe affective disorder more commonly known as “obsessive hair-splitting”; most noteworthy sufferer:
Kentucky Trenchmouth – not an organic or systemic disorder, this degradation of the oral faculties stems from a neglect of basic rhetorical hygiene; it’s caused by a festering in the jowls of people who relish tasting their own mistruth; symptomology includes a continuous dark oozing from the mouth, accompanied by the pungent odor of hypocrisy; most noteworthy sufferer:
